Unrelenting
by mangoseed
Summary: One more chance to set it right.
1. Breezy

**UNRELENTING**

**Chapter 1: Breezy**

She often thought about what it meant – his moments of solitude when he wouldn't speak to her. There were more than a few occasions when she would suddenly lose him in conversation. They'd be discussing something trivial like how the Timber Owls kept getting caught whenever they tried to do something rebellious, and while she was talking, a faraway look would gloss over his eyes. If that didn't work, she'd try to play with him by tickling his neck with a sheer feather or amusing him with a story of how Zell got sick because he kept on challenging Raijin (and losing) to hot dog-eating contests. But he was still always unfazed. She had even gone as far as to plant Irvine's _magazines _in common places that they walked through together. She'd gasp in "shock" and cry, "Squall! I didn't know you were reading these!" But still… no matter what happened, he'd always express a look of apathy – a complete lack of interest in anything she did or said.

She found him slipping away from her, and in many ways, she was slipping away from him, too.

"Tell me what's bothering you, Squall. I want to be there for you."

"It's… nothing. I just have a lot of thoughts on my mind."

"Then let me help you."

He would never respond after that. He would just look away from her, stand up, and walk into the next room while slowly closing the door. What was she supposed to do then? What could she do but hold on to the pair of rings around her neck and question if whether or not they should be bound together at all? Those two rings hung from her neck as though they were some kind of symbol of everlasting love. But truthfully, they were just two pieces of silver jewelry tied on a metal chain so that she wouldn't lose them. Squall never gave her the Griever ring; Zell did. He gave them to her when she asked him to make a ring just like it. He didn't have time to make a copy, so he just bothered Squall long enough to get the original from him. Thinking back, Rinoa couldn't remember _why _she wanted it to begin with.

She was sitting at the desk in her room. For the past year or so, she had been living in a dormitory at Balamb Garden. Headmaster Cid offered her everything she needed – food, clothes, a single room. He told her that it was a form of gratitude for helping to save the world.

Rinoa sighed at the thought. "Saving the world." She didn't do much, actually. If anything, she made the mission more troublesome. And now… she ran her fingers gently over the lion's mane. He was the one who saved the world, and she had known that he was going to long before it happened. She knew the second she saw him on the train to Timber. Was that why she wanted a copy of Squall's ring? Because she wanted to be like him? Because she wanted a piece of his courage?

The thought of Squall was both warming and cold. There were times, she believed, that he genuinely did love her. He would laugh at her stories or hold her in his arms. They were brief, few, and always done in secret... but they were there for her to have.

Then why did she feel so cold?

It made her laugh sometimes; it made her laugh in sadness and loneliness. She'd look back and remember the things they said to each other - the dreams they had of what it would be like to finally be safe and together. What made her laugh even more were those ridiculous promises. Those promises! She could barely believe that they ever said such things.

She remembered how she once told him about a dream she had. In the dream, the two of them planned to see shooting stars together. But after she got dressed, she forgot where she was supposed to meet him and started to panic. She was running around breathless and alone – running through mountains, deserts and plains, through Timber, Balamb, and Galbadia. She was crying out his name. She wanted him to be with her, to protect her so that she didn't have to be so scared. She awoke that morning without ever finding him. He never came, and there were tears in her eyes.

After telling him that dream, Squall simply smiled at her, reassured her that it was only a dream, and said, "The reason why you couldn't find me was because we haven't promised yet. Next time, I'll be waiting for you. If you come here, you'll find me. I promise."

Rinoa stood up from her desk and brought a delicate hand to her mouth as a yawn escaped her lips. She really was very tired. It was only 4:00 PM, but ever since she started having these thoughts, she's either been exhausted or wide-eyed on sleepless nights. She undressed, leaving only her black shorts and shirt on. She then walked over to the window and closed the blinds. When everything was set, Rinoa climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to her neck.

As she lied there, Rinoa let her mind drift back to Squall. What did he mean by that? When he said that he would "be waiting" for her, what would happen after she found him? Were they going to remain close to each other so that neither of them would be lost again? That was what she assumed when he first made that promise. Looking back, it was stupid of her to think with such naivety. She was the one waiting now.

She blinked a tear from her eye.

Why did it have to be like this? Why was someone always waiting? Hadn't they both been waiting long enough? They had no reason to anymore. They had each other right before their eyes. They could touch each other and hold each other. They didn't have to deal with fearful guards that were trying to lock her away. They didn't have to escape a prison in the middle of nowhere. They didn't have to stop sorceresses, rockets bombs, or zombie mayors. They didn't even have to think that, at any given second, they could lose each other forever in time compression. It was so easy. All he had to do was reach out and touch her! _Couldn't you just do that, Squall? I'm right here, right in front of you._

The tears came steadily down her face.

Look at them now. Just look at them! He didn't look at her, didn't touch her. And when he did, it was the same touch that he used to pick up a mission document. It didn't take much to see that they were floating on inflated words, inflated dreams that were blown up too far, too fast under overly-stressful circumstances. How was she, Rinoa Heartilly, overly-idealistic romantic dreamer, expected to be with overly-serious Squall Leonhart that was too busy "thinking" to even give her the time of day? She was eighteen now and battling between what it meant to be a woman and how to hold on to her youth. She didn't want to think about the consequences. She didn't want to have to care about the boring, mundane trivialities of work and more work and piled up stacks of even _more_ work. Not yet… not just yet… she still wanted to smile and enjoy spending hours lying in a flower-coated meadow with the one she loved. Would he ever give her just that? Or was being a SeeD too great of a task? Was being appointed leader to a military-focused school taking up so much of his time that he'd never dream with her again? Was he too much of a grown-up and she too much of a child for them to be happy?

Rinoa shifted over to face the cement wall of her room – a white, blank wall. She had planned to paint it when she first moved in; she was just undecided on the color. A soft green like the color that painted the meadows of her dreams? The meadows where she would find him waiting for her? A light blue like the oceans that she would cross to be with him? Like the skies they would soar through as one? Even white seemed fitting at the time. Like her feathers, her sorceress wings. And it all seemed fine as long as he was her knight… as long as he was her knight. That thought drifted in her mind before it submerged back into the depths it came from. She didn't want to be reminded of what she was _supposed _to have and the promises they were _supposed _to keep. Especially now, at a time like this when the white could only remind her of that dismal walk alone after the battle with Ultimecia. It reminded her of the sounds of endless steps and the exhaustion of running towards an unreachable something. It was white like the barrenness from loneliness. White like the barrenness of love. White like the palms of her hands – hands that had clenched the two rings so tightly that there was a barrenness of feeling in her fists. And when she looked down to see them, the imprints of the two rings had already faded away.

* * *

"Hey, what's Rinoa up to?"

"..."

"Squall?"

"…"

"Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you 'don't know'?"

"..."

"Squall, you need to start paying attention to her. She's gonna get the idea that you don't care. She is a woman, after all."

"…"

"Heh, Squall. Always the silent thinker. You are thinking about this, right?"

"…"

"Squall? Right?"

Squall and Irvine were in the Parking Lot working on Irvine's newest buy – a gigantic neon orange truck. It looked ridiculous, but it was Irvine's pride and glory. He said that it gave him a lot of attention with the ladies. First, they'd be caught off-guard by the shiny vehicle driving towards them, and then _BAM!_ They'd be caught off-guard again by Irvine's handsome face and his shiny white teeth. He would laugh at himself while he said it, as though it didn't actually work. Those he told often raised their eyebrows in skepticism, too. Somehow though, his absurd logic always came through and flocks of girls would crowd around him, his neon orange truck, and his shiny white teeth.

Presently, Squall was under the hood, attempting to fix the engine since Irvine had blown something out when he was speedily tracking around the Balamb Mountains – supposedly it was on a racy date with an adventurous blonde. Irvine, on the other hand, was reclining back in the driver's seat with his feet propped on to the steering wheel and had his hands behind his head. He was lazily looking up at the ceiling of the car and chewing on a piece of gum.

"Have you ever thought about how popular she is with the guys around here? I know a lot of them would kill to have a chance with her, especially that little guy that runs in circles around the lobby."

"…"

Squall still had his face under the hood, and when he stood up straight, wiped the sweat off his forehead. He was only wearing his white t-shirt, which was newly stained with grease. Thankfully, he had thrown his leather jacket to the side somewhere and didn't have to worry about it. Determined to finish this job, Squall ducked back down and pulled out several cords. Various parts were getting disconnected and reconnected. Frustrated, Squall finally groaned out loud and smacked the side of the car.

"You all right over there, Squall?"

"Why am I doing this?"

Irvine laughed aloud and replied, "Because I'm too pretty to do it myself."

"…"

Irvine maintained the smile on his face, but when he received no response in return, he dropped his head and pouted slightly. Squall sucked. No wonder why Selphie told him to try to talk some sense into him... Ah-ha! He knew what to do!

Irvine took off his hat and blew into it to get rid of some of the excess dirt that accumulated on its rim. He then put it back on and looked at himself in the rear-view mirror. A huge grin appeared on his face. He looked _good_. He then winked at his reflection, made a flirtatious "clicking" noise with his tongue, and then ended with a dramatic finale by pointing his finger at the mirror like a handgun and pretending to shoot. _Bullseye._

Okay, okay, it didn't help at all, but at least _he _felt good. With his spirits brightened, Irvine tried again to get his thoughts across to Squall, "Anyway, I think you should watch out for that little guy. He might seem like a good person, but appearances can be deceiving. He's obsessed with your girlfriend."

"…"

"That little guy. You know who I'm talking about? The one that's always wearing a blue shirt and running around the lobby?"

"…"

"Squall, it's that little guy, that _little guy_," he enunciated the words slowly and carefully as though Squall couldn't comprehend what being 'little,' especially being a 'little guy' meant. "He's always running around. Selphie just won a MiniMog card from him the other day."

"…"

"It's rare, and you can Card Mod it into 100 Pet Houses."

"…"

"The things that those cards are capable of are crazy."

"Why would I ever need 100 Pet Houses?"

"I don't know."

"..."

"Anyway, do you ever listen to what he's mumbling when he runs past you? 'Come on. Just one more lap. One more lap and then she'll notice me. Rinoa Heartilly, I promise, I'll make the body of your dreams.'"

"…"

"You gotta start paying some attention to her. All the other guys do."

"…"

"Geez, you suck at this whole relationship business."

"Whatever."

Irvine was getting frustrated He took his feet off the steering wheel and sat himself upright. "Squall, I'm trying to talk to you. Rinoa is the most important person in the world to you, and the best you can tell me is 'Whatever'. It's like you can't say anything else. Does anything else ever come out of your mouth?"

"Yes."

Irvine groaned out loud and threw his arms in the air. He rubbed his forehead before hitting it repeatedly against the steering wheel.

"She's not going to drop me for someone that's four feet tall, Irvine."

"She may not fall for a dwarf anytime soon, but there are other guys."

"…"

"Like me." Irvine couldn't help but laugh out loud at his _obviously_ inappropriate joke.

"…"

"Come on. Say something."

"…"

Irvine rolled his eyes, and the both of them were silent for a few minutes. In boredom, Irvine picked a piece of ammo out of his pocket and started tossing it up and down to keep himself occupied. "Hey Squall."

"…"

He repeated calling Squall's name several times, but was still ignored. After finally admitting that Squall was, quite possibly, the most boring person he'd ever met and that tossing up the piece of ammo wasn't holding his attention very well, he looked at Squall and couldn't help but wonder if…

HOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKKKK!!

"Damn it, Irvine!"

The playboy clad in Western wear burst out in hysterical laughter, kicking his feet into the teeny bit of room that he had at the driver's seat and holding his stomach all the while.

* * *

Rinoa woke to a slight breeze in the air. It seemed lighter, happier in fact. There wasn't much light left outside, and from the cracks in her blinds, she noticed that the sun had nearly set. It was probably around 7:00 by then, but somehow, she felt as though it was brighter now than it had been all day.

When she turned in bed, a vase of lilacs and white carnations were set on her desk. Gasping excitedly, she skipped over to the flowers. She couldn't believe that Squall would go out of his way to do something like this. How exciting!

A wide smile sprang on to her face, and she squealed in her girlish excitement. They were beautiful. Rinoa gently ran her fingers over the flower's petals and tried to imagine Squall secretly coming into her room, probably really uncomfortably. No, _definitely_ really uncomfortably. He must have felt so awkward that he argued in his head if whether or not he should even give them to her. And he'd think things like, "What the hell are you doing, Squall? WHO does this? Since when did you become so fruity?"

She giggled to herself. The idea brought on more happy thoughts. She remembered the times he tensed up whenever she stroked his skin. He'd pull away quickly, and it would almost seem like he didn't like her touch, but for that brief moment, she felt his nervousness. There were other times when she would find Squall pacing around in front of her door at night. He would say something along the lines of how he was just making his rounds around the school. Rinoa may not have been an official student at Garden, and still found herself surprised by some of the school's regulations, but she was able to figure out that Garden commanders didn't usually hang around the girls' dormitories at 11:00 PM - at least not without being called a pervert. Another gesture he did, one of Rinoa's favorites,_ especially_ this one, was when he'd turn his body away from her and act as though he was upset or annoyed. If only he'd realize that he still needed to turn his face another one or two degrees to hide his entire profile. She liked these moments best because even from just the slightest corner of his cheek, she could tell he was smiling.

Rinoa continued to graze her fingers over the petals, and after another moment, she noticed that the door to her room was opened. When she stepped outside to the small lounging area, there was a handsome man sleeping on the couch with brown strands of hair falling into his eyes. Tingles ran down her spine, but were quickly replaced by streams of guilt.

How could she think that Squall didn't care about her? How could she ever imagine that he didn't want her in his life? Squall's always been closed up, and though he only knew how to express his affections through subtleties, they were still there. She accepted it when she first started to think seriously about a relationship with him; but her silly, immature cravings for overly-dramatic antics made her forget, and so she began to think otherwise. He did care about her. He did want her. And there he was now, napping peacefully on her couch because he wanted to stay close to her. He didn't say anything, never bothered her by waking her up, and wasn't intrusive by jumping into bed with her. He just stayed close to her. It was enough for her. It was, after all, the only thing she really needed.

She stepped slowly towards the sleeping figure and lied down behind him. He was facing the couch, and so she wrapped her arms around his back in a soft embrace. She nuzzled her face into his coat, and in a deep breath, felt safe and calm in his warmth.

"Squall," she whispered, smiling happily and thinking back on memories of their past year together, "you're the one that gives me the most comfort. Comfort and happiness…" She closed her eyes and continued, "And annoyance and disappointment, too." She giggled softly and squeezed him tightly. She breathed in his scent (which smelled oddly of grease), his strength, his protection, his heart, and closed her eyes.

* * *

Squall couldn't help but let a subtle smile draw on his face. He had Rinoa latched onto his back like a baby koala, and he didn't know how to move without shoving her off and waking her up. It was, overall, an uncomfortable situation, but a good sort of uncomfortable situation. It was the kind of uncomfortable situation that he didn't know what else to do but shift his body around and hold her closer to him. Naturally, though - after about a minute – he got a little bored. Really, what was he supposed to do? Just lie here and squeeze? That's what pillows are for.

To be honest though, he was still uncomfortable with the whole girlfriend-boyfriend thing. Not that it wasn't already _obvious_. Everyone gave him a hard time. At the Parking Garage, Irvine didn't know how to shut up. He just kept yapping on about how Squall didn't know how to take care of Rinoa. But what did he know? Irvine, of all people, didn't know anything about lasting relationships. He was too busy trying to get girls to go ride with him in the back of his truck. Rinoa was… he felt the gentle sensations in his heart. She was Squall's everything.

Irvine was right about one thing, though. She was a "hot item," and sometimes Squall did have minor spurts of paranoia. He wasn't confident about his relationship with Rinoa. How could he be? What could he possibly offer? Ninety percent of the time, he was too afraid to just reach out and hold her hand. The only way he could touch her was by making it seem as though it didn't matter to him – as though just being close to her didn't make his heart beat faster. And the few times that he actually was affectionate with her, at least in public, some dumb girl would walk past them and make some comment about how she "couldn't believe what the commander - Squall Leonhart - was doing!" Then he'd drop her hand and look away. Like he didn't care. Like he wasn't crazy about her. Like her smile wasn't the first thing he saw whenever he opened his eyes.

It made Squall groan when he thought about how the others would give him grief, too – even Zell and Selphie were getting on his case. Quistis was the only one with half a brain to realize that he needed time, and _a lot _of it. For Hyne's sake, _come on_. He just started _making friends_. For someone that's not even used to letting a conversation carry on for more than three or four minutes, he was doing rather well with all of this. He'd been able to keep a _girl_friend – a _girlfriend _(See that? One word. 'Girlfriend'. Not 'girl' space 'friend'. 'Girlfriend'.) – for nearly a year now. He had every reason to be proud of himself.

After several more minutes, Squall was getting impatient. He needed to start moving again. There was too much doubt in his mind, and if he didn't relieve it by finding a place to train, it would bother him until he went to bed that night.

He looked around and tried to figure out the best way to get around the sleeping girl. Just reach around and try to pull his legs over her? No, no. He wasn't nearly that flexible. What if he just picked her up and put her back down? But that would wake her up for sure. Wait, why was she still sleeping? She was asleep when he first got there, and stayed asleep long enough that he got bored and took a nap. Now that he was awake, she was _still _sleeping. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if he accidentally woke her up?

Squall cradled Rinoa into his arms, and shifted his legs around the couch under her. Using the ground as leverage, he pushed upwards and lifted both of them up. Hardly a stirring, and Squall couldn't help but worry why she was so tired. She hadn't been doing any serious fighting recently, except for the occasional mission that she'd go on to keep him company. Was she sick? Or just exhausted from something? Squall leaned down to put her back on the couch, but thought that she would probably be more comfortable in her bed. He carried her back into her bedroom and laid her on the mattress.

When he pulled back, his head tilted by the sight of her like that. He was suddenly reminded of how she looked when he carried her on that long trek from Fisherman's Horizon to Esthar. It was a somewhat bleak thought, but looking back, it was then that he realized that he would go to any length to save her, that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. To be honest, he hadn't looked at her like this in a long time; he didn't really know how to anymore without quickly feeling like he was a pervert for staring. But right now…

He kissed her on the lips, and stared wistfully at her face. He could feel his knees buckling, and when he leaned down to kiss her again, he mentally reprimanded himself. _Idiot! What are you doing? Stop it. What do you think this is? Sleeping Beauty? Come on, Prince Charming, time to leave. _

Squall turned away and stopped cold for a moment when he saw the flowers on Rinoa's desk. A knock sounded on the door, but he ignored it, not wanting to invite any unwelcome guests. When the knocking came again – this time louder – he bit back his annoyance and opened the door.

"Good evening, commander."

"Don't call me that, Quistis."

She lowered her head slightly and with a coy smirk said, "Oh, excuse me then, sir. Good evening, Squall."

"What are you doing here?"

"The Esthar president wants to discuss a particular issue with you. He's on the phone now. Headmaster Cid insists that you come to his office immediately and speak to him."

"Laguna?"

"Yes. It's urgent."

Squall motioned to step out, but quickly looked back once more in a fleeting glance. Afterwards, he nodded to Quistis and stepped out, quietly closing the door behind him. They walked briskly out of the Dormitories hallway and back to the lobby.

Even after they reached the large circular room, the pair was still silent. It was only the tapping of Quistis' heels against the porcelain tiles that had made any sounds. It was past curfew, and the students that were allowed to be out at this hour were most likely visiting a nearby town or spending time with family and friends. They passed the Cafeteria without saying a word, then the Quad. As the two rounded around and neared the turn for the Infirmary, Quistis broke their silence and asked, "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

Her steps slowed, his sped faster, and she continued, "There's something on your mind, Squall."

"…"

"You're allowed to tell me. We _were_ friends at one point."

How annoying. She was always putting him through this. Since he could remember, Quistis was always trying to solve his problems. She always wanted to know what was going on in the mind of Squall Leonhart. Whenever they spoke to each other, he felt like she was trying to give him some kind of therapy. What did she care? She's an instructor, not a psychiatrist. If only she'd stop it and just do her job. Only her job.

"…"

"Haven't you learned how to trust anyone yet?"

Again. Arrogant, irritating woman. Who did she think she was?

"It's none of your business."

"Squall…"

He had to snap his head back because he was already several paces ahead of her. Frustration was building in him, and he wasn't in the mood to have to listen to another one of Quistis' attempts at getting in his head. "Will you hurry up, Quistis? You came to my room telling me that it's urgent, and now you're the one slowing us down."

"I'm sorry… it's just-"

"What?" He clenched his teeth as he spoke, "What? What could you possibly think would be bothering me now?"

"You never look back."

He stopped in his tracks, entirely startled by her comment. How did she…? How could she have noticed something like that?

But the truth was, she was right. He never did look back. Whenever the headmaster or another important figure called on him, he dropped everything – including Rinoa – and left. It wasn't an act of coldness; it was his duty. As Garden commander, his duty was to protect the school. More than anything, that came first. He had explained all of this to Rinoa in the beginning of their relationship – she understood completely so he never had to feel any sense of remorse when he would get up and leave her. He'd never have to look back.

"…"

Squall turned away from Quistis and continued walking towards the elevator.

"Is something wrong with Rinoa?"

"…"

She walked slowly behind him as Squall quickened his pace even faster. He hurried up the stairs and then pushed the "up" button for the elevator. When the doors opened for him, Quistis still hadn't rounded the corner. He entered the elevator, closed the doors, and it rose to the third floor while she stood looking at him from the bottom of the stairs. She blinked her eyes and shook her head in disbelief that he had left without her.

As the elevator rose, Squall watched Quistis' frame get smaller and smaller as the distance between them increased. A moment later, he looked to the ceiling and rubbed his forehead. He closed his eyes and slouched slightly - a hint of doubt in his posture. He leaned against the wall as he quietly declared, "Those flowers weren't from me."

* * *

_chapter01fin_

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* * *

  
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Author's Note: This story is a project, more or less. I am, unfortunately, burdened with the trait of facing _extreme_ difficulty when it comes to finishing creative writings. Because of that, I decided to challenge myself to see if I can actually write a _long _fic. Dun dun dun.

But TO YOU, thank you for seeing this chapter through to the end. I hope you'll continue reading (although I can't promise that I'll actually update within a reasonable amount of time. _-pout-_ ) It means so much to hear your review and appreciation.

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters belong to Square-Enix (not an online user named .mangoseed, _obviously_).


	2. My Mind

**UNRELENTING**

**Chapter 2: My Mind**

"Hey! Long time, no talk!"

"…"

Squall had walked into Headmaster Cid's room and was now listening to Laguna's goofy-sounding voice on the speaker.

"How ya doin'?"

"What's the problem, Laguna?"

He was hoping this conversation would be a short one, but since Laguna was somehow _still _president of Esthar, he would have to listen to him ramble on.

"Getting right into the mission details, I see. Good man, Squall."

"…"

He wanted to get out of the mission conference as soon as possible. He still felt tense. Those stupid flowers were still in his head.

"Anyway, as I was saying… We've got a problem here. In our peace treaty with Galbadia, their Garden offered us a couple of guardian forces. I know we don't usually use GFs, but it was always something I thought was cool. And Galbadia Garden even went all-out with it and taught classes to show our soldiers how to junction efficiently – you know, to build up our magic and vitality stats, too. Our military forces must've gotten like eighty times stronger. We were really appreciative of it and stuff."

"…"

GFs. Was it really so complicated? He breezed through all the tutorials, and it only took him a few hours to figure out which magic abilities were best suited to be junctioned. He even taught Rinoa how to use them without a problem. Rinoa, who smiled at him beautifully when he taught her all the little tricks to make sure her magic stats were the highest they could be. "Wow! Look at my Blizzaga! I never made an iceberg that big before!" He didn't realize it then; he didn't realize how beautiful she looked. He didn't even realize the way his heart skipped a beat at her delight. And now… he was suddenly afraid that he was losing her smile.

As Laguna was talking, the elevator sounded. Quistis' heels could be heard from outside the door, and in another instant, she walked into the room and stood beside Xu and Nida.

"Anyway, you'd figure that everything would be good, right? After all, our armed forces were suddenly really strong. But out of nowhere, our soldiers started collapsing left and right. Not all of 'em, just a good handful. But right now, we've got a bunch of people in the hospital. Balamb Garden should be on alert right about now. Odine's been trying to figure this out; he's afraid that it might have something to do with Ultime-"

"It's just a coincidence," Squall interrupted.

Headmaster Cid's eyes turned on him, and Squall could feel his glare on his back. "Even if it was, commander, this is still vital information."

"…"

He knew he wasn't acting professionally, but Squall's head kept spinning with thoughts of those stupid flowers and listening to Laguna on the phone wasn't going to alleviate any of them. Something about those flowers felt distinctly different. Different and familiar… Those flowers weren't just from some random admirer. They meant something.

Laguna continued, "Don't worry about it, Cid. It's no big deal."

The headmaster kept his eyes on Squall for another moment, and then looked back towards the telephone and answered, "Please continue, President Loire."

"We don't want to start a war with Galbadia or anything. Odine doesn't think it was their fault. He thinks it has to do with time compression and putting the consciousness of GFs of the future into the GFs now."

First a sorceress, then a couple of monsters. Whatever. The doctor was just out of his mind – always has been. He just wanted to keep thinking that his "Ellone Junction Machine" thing was still being used in the future.

Xu glanced at Nida who had raised an eyebrow. They shared a look of confusion, and she spoke for the both of them when she asked, "Excuse me, President Loire, but how is that possible? Are you saying that the GFs of the future took over their consciousnesses? I know they have been known to cause memory loss, but this is entirely different."

"Yeah, somethin' like that. Odine said that they got stronger in the future. He's been studying them ever since you guys found out they make you lose your memory."

Xu looked back at Nida. He shrugged his shoulders, and the pair remained silent against the wall.

"We think it happened around the time Edea was in control of Galbadia Garden. It was around that time when a couple of the kids over there started randomly collapsing. It wasn't that often, and it was with the kids that just started to use the GFs. At first, they thought it was because they were still young, and they started to blame the committee for not thoroughly training the students. No one thought there was actually a problem with the GFs until they handed a couple over to us."

"So you think this is Ultimecia's doing?" The headmaster inquired.

Could this be Squall's doing? Did he push her away so that she found comfort from someone else. No, of course not. But then… Why did he feel this curdling feeling in his stomach. Like he was being... challenged. Challenged in a whisper and attacked from behind.

"We're not sure. I mean, it's logical… kind of. But anyway, I'm just saying that you should watch out. We're not sure if it's only constrained to the GFs at Galbadia."

"…Whatever." He didn't mean to say it. He didn't know how or why it came out, but he didn't regret it. Fury was rousing inside him, and he could feel it boiling under his skin.

"Squall." Headmaster Cid's surprise and annoyance was apparent in his tone, but Squall merely stared at the telephone.

"…"

"Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just received a message." Quistis held up a metal device. "Mr. Leonhart is being requested in the Training Center. It seems that a few of the younger students ran into a problem with a T-Rexaur."

Squall turned his head at the inquiry and tightened his fingers into a fist.

The headmaster groaned, "It's after hours. No one should even be out except upperclassmen."

"Yes, I understand, sir, but these things do happen."

"And where is Mr. Dincht or Mr. Kinnaes? Can't they take care of it?"

"There was no mention of them in the message."

Laguna's voice came on to the speaker, "Ah, come on, Cid. We're pretty much done here, and Squall sounds like he could go for some head-to-head dino fighting."

"…"

The headmaster flicked his arm in reluctant compliance and agreed, "All right, then. Go on to the Training Grounds."

Squall nodded. He turned away from the desk and walked towards the exit. He passed Xu and Nida without saying a word, but noticed a curious look in Quistis' eyes. It was a look that said something – understanding? No. Whatever. She was an annoying woman.

When Squall exited the room and closed the door behind him, he could still hear Laguna's loud voice from the room. "So when are you all comin' up to Esthar? Can I ride the Ragnarok again?"

* * *

"Commander? Commander, wake up. Please wake up."

A gentle face. Soft hands. Tender eyes.

_You know that I love you, right? _

"Commander? Squall? Squall!"

* * *

She was sitting in her seat, trying her hardest to not squirm so much. Crossing her legs, uncrossing her legs, she couldn't find a comfortable position. Of course her legs were tingling like crazy now, too. In her stupidity, she tried to relieve her nervousness by drinking plenty of water. Maybe it would wash away her nerves? But nope. Uh-uh. Now she was just as nervous and had to pee a waterfall. Great. She paused for a moment to consider if whether or not she should go to the bathroom. If she did, it was likely that he might arrive, and she wouldn't be there to greet him. Oh for Hyne's sake, he was the late one, and she needed to pee.

Rinoa got up to go to the restroom. When she returned, Seifer was sitting in the seat across from hers. She held her breath and quickly tried to mentally prepare herself for walking up and saying hello. Was that how she was supposed to do it? Just walk up and say hello? Could it really be that easy? No, of course it couldn't be. Her head was spinning, and the nervousness quickly flushed back.

She clenched her fingers and reminded herself that this was the time to get rid of all that. She invited him here as_ friends_. Friends. When Quistis told her that Seifer was returning, her immediate reaction was to give him a call. After all, it had been well over a year since she had an actual conversation with him. The last few times they said anything to each other were when they stood on opposite sides of the battlefield. But before all the sorceress chaos, they shared quite the history. It only made sense that they sit down and talk a little. Too much was left unsaid, and she didn't think that swinging gunblades and throwing fireballs was the right way to clarify things.

Even though it was only Seifer's back that faced her, Rinoa could still see that air of arrogance about him. One leg rested on the knee of the other. Back pulled straight. Arms stretched across the chair. It was as if the world was his to hold. It never mattered how heavy, how wide, or even how great the world was. He was Seifer Almasy. He would always be greater. It was so different from Squall's posture. He never sat straight; he never had his arms open like that. Always slightly slouched, always quiet, always so reserved. He would only sit upright in the headmaster's office. But for anyone else, his arms would span across his thighs, one hand clasped in the other, and his head tilted down. Funny, she thought, how she could be drawn to two entirely different men.

Rinoa walked past him and touched him lightly on the shoulder.

"You're late." His words were short, but playful.

"I was here on time. You were the late one. I just needed to go to the bathroom."

He smirked at her devilishly in response. She had to admit that she was pleasantly surprised by all of this. They were still comfortable with one another - comfortable enough that they could tease each other lightheartedly. Perhaps there was no reason to be so nervous after all. This was exactly what she was hoping for - a conversation between friends over a cup of coffee.

"Why'd you tell me to meet you at a coffee shop?" His eyes were looking at her skeptically and at the same time, _pompously_ – as though it was ridiculous to meet _here _of all places. What was his problem? She thought the place was nice; he didn't have to be such a snob about it.

"Is there something wrong with a coffee shop?"

"You have the attention span of a four-year-old. The last thing you need is coffee."

What? Her eyes blinked dumbly in shock. Here she was, going _out of her way_ to spend a nice afternoon with this… this butthead! And he didn't even have the decency to appreciate it. She clenched her teeth and breathed deeply, trying her hardest to not show how annoying she thought this _butthead_ really was.

"Yeah, but when Squall started to drink more coffee, Quistis showed us this place. I always thought it was pretty - right in Balamb with the sea just outside. It's nice, so I come here often."

"You come here often?"

"Is that really a surprise?"

"Yeah."

That stupid haughty expression was staring at her right in the face. He was so… so… urgh! She _did _like it here! It was a _very _nice coffee place, _thank you very much. _He had _no right _to look at her like that. It was like, like he was calling her a little kid or something. It was almost as if his eyes were saying, "You're still too immature to be drinking coffee. You just _wish_ you were a grown-up, but you're trying to prove that you actually are one by taking me here."

"So what'd you order?"

Her heart dropped.

"Uhh… Well I uhh…"

That stupid stupid expression - he still had it on, and she tried desperately to find out some kind of answer to save her from defeat. She couldn't admit… no. No! He can't win this!

"Well?"

"Umm…"

"Well?"

Rinoa looked down and mumbled a few words quietly.

"Can't hear you."

She mumbled it again.

"You know, you really are acting like a four-year-old."

"Hot chocolate!"

He broke out in hearty laughter, and she looked away, bunching up her nose in an annoyed expression. She couldn't believe him. First, he embarrassed her. Second, he made her feel really really dumb. Now, he just wouldn't stop laughing! Urgh!

And he's still laughing…

Still laughing…

And still… Urgh!

When she turned back to face him, Seifer_ still_ hadn't stopped laughing, but even through her annoyance, she couldn't help but notice the way his head cocked back. Squall never laughed like that; he would never be open enough. He might lightly chuckle or smile amusedly, but he would never laugh so heartedly and confidently as Seifer was now. Seifer was… expressive.

Rinoa shook her head. She should stop. This wasn't the time to be comparing them, especially at a time when he was making fun of her. She was happy with Squall. He was amazing, and no matter how confident, how open, or even how good Seifer looked right now, that wasn't going to change. Was that mentioned, by the way? How_ good_ Seifer looked? Because he looked _good_. His face was older now, more mature. There was a certain gleam of experience in his eyes and a sharpness in his cheeks that illustrated the image of a man who had gained, lost, and learned. Even his skin, which was once glowing with youth, seemed more controlled in its fervor. Still soft, though, still as soft as she remembered.

When he finally calmed down, they stared at each other – somewhat dumbly – for several minutes.

"Sooo… when did you get back? I didn't find out you were here until this morning."

That stupid expression came back. What? Did she say something that he could make fun of _again_?

"You also called me this morning. So what? Did you call me the second you heard I was back?"

Yes.

"No. Well, no-not really. See, umm, I'm going to be really busy for awhile. Mm-hmm. And this will be the last time I'll be free for the next two weeks or so," her words blurted out quickly and clumsily. "I just… didn't want you to think I was avoiding you so I thought I should do my best to see you now." When she was done with her "explanation", she ended with a bright and innocent no-I'm-so-not-trying-to-cover-anything-up smile.

That jerk expression was still planted on his face, but this time, he added that devilish smirk of his.

"Anyway, tell me about your trip."

A waitress came to their table carrying a tray with two drinks. "Hi guys. Sorry to interrupt, but I have your drinks all set." She handed one mug to Rinoa. "One hot chocolate." A smirk jumped on Seifer's face, and Rinoa stuck her tongue out in response. Then the waitress handed the other mug to Seifer. "And one coffee. Would you like any cream or sugar with that?"

"Nah, I'll take it black."

"Okay," she said with a smile, "enjoy!"

Rinoa met her gaze and smiled with a polite, "Thank you." When she turned back to Seifer, he looked at her blankly and just shrugged his shoulders.

"What? What is," she questioned as she mimicked his shoulder-shrugging gesture, "_that _supposed to mean?"

"You asked about my trip. It sucked," he answered as he reached for his coffee and took a sip.

"Then why'd you go?"

He put his cup down. "I don't know. After being controlled by an evil sorceress from the future, you kinda lose purpose after it's all over. What was I supposed to do? Pretend nothing happened and try to be a SeeD? Unlike you, I didn't have a pile of friends to take care of me."

His comment was said with an unexpected sting, and Rinoa had to bite back in response. She took a moment to recompose herself, then asked, "What about Raijin and Fujin?"

"My posse?" He chuckled at the thought. "My posse's cool, but pretty useless when it comes to anything like that. Raijin's just a confused moron. He can hardly tell the difference between being hungry and sleepy. And Fujin's all right, but she likes talkin' in one-word sentences. After awhile, it doesn't help. Doesn't matter, though, 'cause I don't want either of them to see me like that. They're MY posse after all. I'm the leader." His smile was broad as he said it – filled with confidence and spunk. Amazing how he could be so… _cool_… about all of it.

It was obvious to Rinoa how difficult the last year must have been for him. She suspected that most towns would shun him away. With no one to really fall back on, how could he still stay so lively? How was his smile so vivid? So honest? And here she was crying because Squall didn't pay attention to her. She wanted to groan out loud. This entire time, she'd been so fortunate to have loved ones there for her; she was just too self-centered to realize it.

"So how's the new commander doin'? Is he actually talking to people now? The guy can't pretend to be invisible if he's in charge of the entire school."

"Oh." Rinoa picked up the teaspoon in front of her and dipped it in her hot chocolate. "He's okay. I mean… he's still not Mr. Popularity, but he's opening up to people."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm." She couldn't stop the smile and rising blush in her cheeks. "Like just yesterday, he surprised me with a vase of flowers." She bit her bottom lip as she swirled the chocolate around with her spoon. "They're really nice – purple and white, actually."

He took a sip of his coffee. "Do you even like purple and white?"

"Well, you know, it's not exactly my color of choice," she said as she kept her eyes down towards the table, "But it's the thought that counts, right? They're beautiful no matter what."

Seifer didn't respond after awhile, and when Rinoa looked up again, he was sitting back in his seat. Both arms were spanned across the crest of his chair again – all ready to go and conquer the world.

"You finished your coffee already? That was quick."

He shook his head. "No, I just don't play with my drinks like a four-year-old. I actually drink it."

"Shut up!"

He smiled.

"I just… Urgh! You're so frustrating!"

Rinoa then took her mug and prepared herself to take big gulps of her hot chocolate. She was on a mission to prove to Seifer that not_ everything _she did was like a four-year-old. No sir, Rinoa Heartily had most certainly matured. Now she just had to go and do it without burning herself. Ready, go!

And the heat seared the nerves of her tongue.

"Ow!"

"Hahahaha!"

* * *

He was asleep in the bed across from her - passed out, actually, passed out from being stupid enough to stay in the Training Grounds all night and run himself dry of magic and potions. Idiot. He was such an idiot. How could he be so stupid? Quistis stood up from her seat and looked down at the sleeping man. She couldn't believe that someone so talented, so smart, so irritatingly handsome could also do something so outrageously dumb.

She glanced at his shoulder, and a deep gash was torn into his skin. She hated seeing him like this. He was supposed to be invincible - commander of Balamb Garden, savior of the world, Squall Leonhart. And even if he was all that, she always felt the inexplicable urge to protect him. It was an instinct that ran to her core - a desire beyond her control to make sure that he was always safe. She often swayed between her thoughts of what the feeling meant - sisterly love or romance? Sisterly love was what she liked to discern it as. That way, she'd be able to persuade herself into believing that she wanted nothing more than a close friendship. If she deemed it as the latter – that latter where her heart pounded solely and steadily for him - she'd do nothing but hurl herself into lonely nights and tear-soaked pillows. She wouldn't dare to let her mind wander in that desirous direction. But still... even though she refused... she couldn't stop her hand from reaching out and touching his.

He stirred, and Quistis quickly drew back and returned to her seat. After a few moments, he blinked his eyes open and slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. He tried to lift his arm, but winced slightly in pain.

"Don't do that. You're badly hurt."

"..."

He tried again. This time, his face shifted into a grimace as he struggled to rub his eye.

"You're so stubborn."

"..."

How endearing. All he wanted to do was rub his eye, and he put himself through levels of pain just to perform such a small task. She could have giggled then, especially because she was fully aware that part of the reason why he was so determined to rub his eye was because she told him not to. Typical Squall.

"You're a very funny person."

"..."

"Really. It's quite amusing."

"And you're a liar."

His words struck through her sharply in a way that she wasn't expecting.

"Excuse me?"

He didn't look at her. He just looked at the bed sheets and his fingers that clenched around the dry fabric.

"..."

"Squall, _what _are you talking about?"

She was furious. How could he accuse her of that?

"I'm sick of this."

"Sick of what?"

He wasn't making sense. Since last night, he had been acting harshly towards her, and even now, he was acting like a fool.

"Of yo-," he caught himself before he finished the word, paused, and tried again, "of everything."

He was still looking away from her, and Quistis noticed that the color in his hands had faded. They were as grossly pallid as the white sheets he gripped onto. He was so angry, and though she had every reason to be angry in return, she felt the intensity in her arms and shoulders rising out of her and dissipating into the air. That inexplicable need to protect him - to ensure that he was safe, that he was happy - had returned. A deep sigh. A softened face. A tender gaze.

She spoke quietly when she said, "Squall, I never lied to you."

"..."

She didn't want to push him to tell her more. He'd snap at her without question, and if she didn't have some idea of what he was talking about, she'd be powerless to calm him down.

"Everyone's lying to me."

She stayed quiet, but was still grateful that he was opening up to her.

"Even you. Damn it, Quistis. Was that some kind of joke last night?"

Last night... Last night, no. Never. She simply noticed his behavior. If leaving her behind when he walked into that elevator wasn't enough to validate her point, he acted strange even in the headmaster's office. She noticed the way he sat more rigidly than usual, the way he constantly groaned, the way he needed to rub the back of his neck over and over. She also remembered how much it hurt her to see him like that, and how she wanted to do _something _to relieve some of that stress. So yes. Yes. She lied to the headmaster. She pretended there were kids in danger in the Training Center. She mustered up that lie so he could get out of there and stop listening to Laguna - whom Quistis was also aware of just how much Squall hated listening to. She was getting upset at the thought. But of course she was! How could she not be? She lied to the headmaster and risked getting herself in a complicated predicament, but for what? For an ungrateful, stubborn Squall Leonhart?

"No, it wasn't a joke. I did it so you could get out of there. It was obvious how badly you wanted to leave, especially based off your behavior."

"I don't need your help."

It was useless trying to speak to him, and it was a mistake to think that there was any valor in her decision to help him last night. Now she was the stupid one. She shouldn't have... she shouldn't have! She was so angry that she couldn't stop herself from snapping back at him.

"And what is wrong with you? Why would you stay there all night? I know you weren't on some mission to find those 'kids'. You couldn't have cared less. But for some reason, you stayed there, forced yourself to fight all night without resting, and didn't even have enough sense to bring more potions with you! And thank Hyne there were students who found you this morning and called me to come and get you. Your arm was nearly ripped off - ripped off! You had to get _seventeen _stitches to suture that back up! That same arm that you insist on rubbing your eye with because you're so obviously contemptuous against anything I have to say!"

"..."

"So tell me. Please. Enlighten me."

"..."

"What is going on with you?"

"It's none of your business."

* * *

Clear. Like the waters. Like the foamy crests of the azure tides. Hazy. Like the fog. Like the furtive mist. He could see the fish swimming freely below him – their silver bodies flitting in and out of the shadows, of the clarity. He had felt that way for awhile now – that flitting feeling of darting back and forth, back and forth, back and forth between the clarity and the haze. But not earlier this afternoon. No. He held on to that clarity for longer than he had in a long time. He was with her, and with her, it meant that the rapid trills of his mind came to a long pause. He could rest. He could be at ease. He could feel alive again.

"SEIFER?"

He chuckled at the sound of her voice. What a charming way to greet someone – in a bold, strident cry that sounded like a shriek. It would make anyone (except him, obviously) want to piss in his or her pants.

"Hey."

"RAIJIN. HURT."

Seifer ignored the comment for a moment so that he could appreciate the Balamb air – the flavors of salt, sea, and wind blended together pleasantly. He thought it was even nicer now, now that she was here.

When he looked back at Fujin, he asked, "What happened?"

"STING."

"He was playing with the jellyfish again? Damn moron. We already told him that you can't pick 'em up."

"IDIOT."

Seifer turned his back to Fujin and glanced down at the water. He chuckled lightly when he saw a jellyfish floating towards his direction. "Does he know to pee on it?"

"HIS FAVORITE PART."

Seifer laughed again and turned his face to the stoic woman. Her grey locks gently fell over her eyes, and he noticed the strands of hair swaying lightly in the winds. Since leaving, Seifer had become increasingly more aware of the people around him. He didn't care before; he was always too involved with his own ego that the significance of others meant little to nothing. But upon realizing that he was unsatisfied with his lack of relationships, he taught himself how to appreciate those who showed him an ounce of concern – especially Raijin and Fujin.

He looked away from her and stared back at the sea.

"HER?"

He nodded. "I saw her today."

"GOOD?"

"She's happy," he replied with a shrug.

"FLOWERS?"

Seifer couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. He was briefly reminded of sneaking into her room, and putting them on the desk. He felt like an idiot then. In fact, he still kind of did.

"She doesn't think they're from me. She's still with lame-ass Squall. I didn't think she'd settle for someone like him. I figured that only someone like the instructor would have that kind of patience." He jeered, "Not too long ago, I could'a sworn Squall just hit puberty."

"LOVE?"

"Don't know. Haven't seen 'em together. She's a romantic, though. She probably thinks she does."

"YOU?"

The question struck him. He contemplated the question before, but never liked thinking about the answer.

"Me? Love Rinoa?" Seifer laughed out loud. "I don't even know what love is. And our fling or whatever was only a couple o'months in the summer. It was two years ago."

The pair was silent, and a smile drew on his face as he thought about her. She always swayed her body in her seat like she was bopping to her own song. She was always playing with everything around her - drumming her fingers on the table, ripping her napkins into little pieces, or nibbling on her straw. She often looked down when she talked to him, and he could always hear the nervous tapping of her feet under the table. She mumbled all the time, and her eyes were always scanning the room with a dreamy expression. Damn four-year-old.

But when she looked at him...

Seifer glanced down and could see the rays of light reflected against the water. The haze was gone.

Everything was clear.

* * *

_chapter02fin_

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Author's Note: I know the chapters are long to the point of ridiculous, and so your patience in getting through another chapter is very deeply appreciated. Thank you!

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters belong to Square-Enix (not an online user named .mangoseed, _obviously_).


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